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Lumberjack Hockey Players,

Here are some housekeeping items that need to be taken care of before May 1:

Ð'* Come in for your 2 on 1 meeting, me and Gullet have been dying to tag a

player. I am usually around my office, which is now located in the back booth

at the Dairy Queen, from 10 Ð'- till when they kick me out during the week. Even

if you do not have much to say come and pick up your very useless silver medal.

Ð'* Our Athletic Banquet is on April 22, 2005 in the gym, where the hell is the

gym anyways? If anyone knows let me know. Please Dress classy a shirt and tie

would be great, of course this is optional for langhaug as he is clearly the

franchise of the team. I suggest you wear a hoodie or something Pat.

The food is good and I plan on putting on a clinic so make sure to invite your

parents if they live close cause I'm going to be a complete mess. EVERYONE IS

EXPECTED TO BE THERE. If you are not it may affect your letter grade for

Varsity Hockey. But that's a lot of work to change so probably not.

Ð'* A lot of equipment, including a few bags, jerseys and socks are missing still,

unless I just ate them as a snack, who knows, I am quite the mess.

You will be charged if these items are not handed in. And the money will go

straight to my families bank account, where it will probably get spent on

XXXL Minnesota wild apparel. I am also missing some white helmets that were

taken at the start of the year.

Ð'* If you are a sophomore and need some help for next year stop by and after a

quick gummer I should be able to give you some help

Ð'* DVD and videos from the National Tourny are available. We choked hard due to

horrible coaching so they're going cheap. They are going to ordered for $5 a

game and must be in by May 1st. You will get a photo cd from me at our banquet,

but you actually wont cause ill probably be too lazy to get that done on time.

So whenever I get up from lying in my own filth Ill get those too you.

Tie-Dye shirts for sale too Ð'- real cheap cause they're so gay. Limit 2. Golf

Shirts are also cheap because I've been using them as napkins for the last week

and a half.

You need to come and vote for player awards by Tuesday April 19. Its actually

probably not necessary as I plan on giving them all to Langhaug and Jeff Baum

anyways.

Ð'* Please park your cars away from the front of Mead Hall. They're getting in my

way when I try to waddle my fat ass to my office and I have been getting a lot

of grief from faculty and staff for being such a mess. It is very rude and some

of you are getting heavy fines and some car/trucks may be getting towed soon.

It looks and reflects badly on Lumberjack Hockey, and we have enough things

doing that already, such as your fat-ass coach who's constantly shoveling in a

cheeseburger.

Ð'* Some guys need to be smarter in the Dorms. When you come in the dorms at 1 in

the

morning with backpacks on it looks suspicious. It looks like your smuggling

greasy food in without offering me any. Be Smart. My nose can smell these things

even in the deepest of afternoon naps in the middle of the week. Dorm write-ups

may factor in

whether or not I want you around next season. Except that I'm far too lazy too

recruit so chances are real good that I'm going to be hard up for players next

season.

Ð'* If you are planning not to come back, which I strongly advise considering its

one of the worst hockey programs out there, and I don't get up till the PM,

unless I'm making a Minot

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