The 3 Stages of a Violent Relationship

Jacqueline M. Olguin

Instructor Young

ENG-1A

25 June 2018

The 3 Stages of a Violent Relationship

The media rarely shows cases of domestic violence, yet it is one of the fastest growing epidemics in today’s society. While domestic violence is mostly physical, it can also be sexual. People of all ages, gender, and racial backgrounds go through these unpredictable situations everyday. “Domestic violence or abuse is defined as one partner having the intent of gaining power and control over the other through physical, sexual, and any other type of abuse” [i]. Many studies have tried to define why people examine this violence as acceptable behavior, yet no conclusions have ever been made.

The majority of domestic violence cases involve women as victims and men as the perpetrator. However, recent statistics show that “nearly more than 1 in 3 women and more than 1 in 4 men experience some form of physical and sexual violence other than rape in their lifetime” [ii]. “Domestic violence often follows a repeating cycle…” [iii]. This cycle consists of 3 main stages; first the tension build-up stage, second the explosive stage, and finally the honeymoon stage. The durations of each cycle is not the same for all relationships, but can easily escalate over time.

In the first stage of this Cycle of Violence tension starts to build-up for multiple unknown reasons. Tension is typically characterized as stress, anger, and or insecurity. Victims become so accustomed to the tension that they can usually predict when their partner will become abusive. During this stage the victims may feel as if they are “walking on eggshells” [iii].

The second stage follows when the tension finally breaks; the explosive stage is the part of the cycle where the abuser lashes out towards their significant other physically or sexually. “The abuser may hit, rape, or the victim” [iii]. Most victims rarely come forward about the abuse they encounter in their relationships during this stage, and try to deny the abuse when confronted.

Finally, the honeymoon stage this is the final stage of the cycle of violence. Abusers may deny that abuse took place or say that it would never happen again. Sexual violence may sometimes occur within this stage as well. The abuser may try to persuade their partner to engage in sexual activities; and many of them comply just to keep their abuser from lashing out again. “As [this] cycle continues the violence becomes increasingly brutal and escalates into a great bodily injury or death” [iv].

While domestic violence is one of the fastest growing epidemics in society, the media rarely shows cases of domestic violence. Research states more women are victims of domestic violence; however, men can experience abuse as well. Domestic violence is an issue that has profound physical and psychological effects on one’s wellbeing and overall quality of life. As the awareness of domestic violence continues to increase, this form of abuse will be less likely to go unnoticed and be seen as an acceptable behavior.

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