Memories of the Wave

Memories of the Wave

        I never thought it will work, somehow I intentionally clicked it. There’s something in me that I should try it. Just TRY. See it for myself if this thing is worth the try then I HIT it. Hitting that button is like hitting the water by your hand then water’s flushed through your face. Eventually, in the end, I’m going to face the consequences. And yeah, He’s worth the try by the way but pain is inevitable.

In the mid of July 20-24, 2018

        I can’t remember exactly what the date it is but as far as I remember, it was in the middle of my midterm examination that it got my attention. How far will that button, by clicking that one reached? I hit that button on purpose but I actually don’t know what my purpose is, maybe I want to make friends or maybe more than friendship. That was a big question mark to me. So, I just clicked it then followed by another message saying “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to click that. It’s just my finger that slipped made its way to that button.” Well, for me that was my lamest excuse ever. Who would’ve believed on that excuse and reply to that message anyway huh? I guess none. But then, he sent a reply!!!! Wow!! Just WOW!! Quick reply haa!!

So after that accident or we could say INCIDENT, we often chat with each other, sharing thoughts and opinions on random topics. I never thought we could go that far, to became friends just on the messenger without seeing each other and I think that’s unnecessary. I enjoyed chatting with him even I’m in the middle of my stressful days and give some time for myself to take a break. At those times, all I wanted is to have someone that I can share my opinions to or to rant about everything that stresses me. That’s all, no feelings more than that. I just draw a strong thick border line for that because I don’t want myself to caught off guard once again.

Weeks have passed by and still we do chat with each other, comfortably chit-chat on whatsoever topics we’ll have on that day and night. I barely noticed how our conversations changed the way it was. There’s something that is building up and I’m too scared to let it known. I know there is but I’m unsure of this, I don’t want myself expect once again. So, all I could is to buy some time and forget what it is. But unexpected thing came up, he wanted to meet me personally (that for me, never got it in my mind that he will) but I need to refused, I just decided to refuse for that one is better, I think. Still he tried his luck to convince me in his invitation for a coffee or whatever but I turned down two or three times of his offer. I don’t know what’s up on me not to give his way to see me and I thought it’s unnecessary. And yes, I failed. That time, I can’t find my way out, an excuse not to see me. He really finds his way and that’s the first time someone’s waiting for me, for my class to be done and going to see me. Can’t believe that, really. Haysss…

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