America Survival

To whomever finds my body. Probably you, Cory:

Brian and Regina Kennedy [ (918) 333-5544 ] are family friends who can get in touch with my parents in Europe.

If for some reason you need to reach my family directly call 011 47 5141 9417. Use my phone to avoid cell

phone companies fucking you over. If this is Cory, Im sorry you have to be the one to make this call. Lifes

a bitch and then you die aint it? Word. Get your degree, dude, and live that shit up.

----------------

TO MY FAMILY

Mom+Dad

I love you both so much. I'm so sorry for the pain you feel now, reading this note. Please let it be some

comfort that I was deeply unhappy with my life and now I'm beyond my hurt. I can't give you an explanation for why

I did what I did other than I have not been happy at any point in my life, perhaps excluding the brief time before

I was molested.

I simply do not see how my circumstances could possibly improve in any meaningful way. I lack the most

fundamental qualities that are necessary in order to lead a meaningful, successful, or fullfilled life.

Don't even consider blaming yourselves in any way for my death. I love you both more than I could ever

articulate.

Dad

My most treasued memories are of those frosty early mornings spent in duck and boat blinds. I loved

spending that time with you. My whole life you have been so understanding, so loving, so strong. I remember playing

little league baseball and being overwhelmed by the feelings of comfort and security that you were always there, supporting me, loving me.

And you were always there no matter what. You were the best father I could have ever had. Dad, I love you. I am

crying as I write this too you. I love you dad.

Mom

Your my mom and hold a special place in my affections. Do you remember that long car ride, I believe it was

to North Dakota, where we talked about you and dad, your marriage, conceiving me, and all those other deep topics?

My love for you was indescribable in that car ride, and it remains so. When I called you after being arrested for

the first time and about to get kicked out of OU, yours was the most soothing and reassuring voice I had ever heard.

I Love you deeply and completely.

John

...