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Tis The Season

Essay by   •  April 23, 2011  •  548 Words (3 Pages)  •  869 Views

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Where has my Christmas spirit gone? I did indeed start out with some. But I have since decided that Christmas light strings are an evil plot by terrorists to undermine all feelings of peace on earth and good will to all men.

My story starts with my determination to buy a BIG real fir Christmas tree.....9 feet to be exact. One would be quite justified in asking why I need such a large tree....especially as I live alone and no presents will be going under it. But it is tradition. Isn't that what Christmas is all about? Since I was a child I have always had a real tree that touched the ceiling. Of course back then the ceiling wasn't 9 feet high and there were lots of adults around to do the carrying and lifting of said tree.

Despite loud groaning, crying out and gnashing of teeth, no gallant neighbours appeared to help me drag my 9 foot tree from the car to my living room. (I couldn't persuade the home depot guy to take a field trip) Of course there being a noticeable lack of gallant neighbours in my area period, this was unlikely to occur anyway.

So after about 10 attempts to get the mammoth tree through the spring loaded front door, I deposited it on my living room floor feeling all smug with myself.

Then came the beastly lights.....

I strung the 4 strings of lights in the wrong direction TWICE, ending up with the wrong end of the plug near the floor both times. Since I couldn't POSSIBLY be stupid enough to make the same mistake twice in a row, I blame those dastardly terrorists and their conniving ways. I'm sure the lights deviously turned themselves around surreptitiously when I wasn't looking.

But the 3rd time was the charm. And so the decorating began. Being too lazy to go out to the garage to get the step ladder, I devised an ingenious method of stepping from one dining room chair to another in



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