Liking Is for Cowards. Go for What Hurts

Liking Is for Cowards. Go for What Hurts.

Today’s world is driven by materialists and consumerists- the longing for the newest and fanciest gadgets. Many people base their popularity solely on how many likes and positive comments they can attain on social media (MEDIA OFTEST ENTAL) such as Facebook, Twitter, Instagram…etc. These people grow up in a world where the phenomenon of achieving likes and popularity on social media quickly becomes the norm, even though it is far from the real world. Jonathan Franzen addresses this subject and brings it up for discussion in his essay, “Liking Is for Cowards. Go for What Hurts”.

The essay is based on his speech at Keyon College, Ohio, USA and was published in The New York Times in 2011. Jonathan Franzen’s main receivers are teenagers and young adults, who are highly devoted to (TO) and fixated on this media world. With his essay, Franzen tries to remind people not to run away from love, in fear of being rejected, but rather to embrace it.

 (KAN DET LED BLIVE SKREVET IND PÅ EN MERE FLYDENDE MÅDE). Technology may be at its peak (IKKE KOMMA) and has groundbreaking features, “like a magician’s incantations” (l. 38). This new technology and materialists seems (KONGRUENS → MED MINDRE DU SER DET SOM ÉN TING?) to be taking over the entirety of the western world. Franzen sarcastically points out how showing affection and love to one another is done by giving ‘stuff’, “If you love someone, you buy stuff”. (l. 76-77). People are willing to change who they are, to achieve ‘likes’. They create a person online, who is idealistic to the one society creates. This online world of idealistic wannabes (IKKE KOMMA) leads to loss of interaction in real life and confusion and difficulties in real relationships.

According to Franzen, this will not give a person real satisfaction, in fact, it will do quite the opposite, because you have tricked people into liking a fictional version of yourself. Most of the people who hide behind their screens (IKKE KOMMA) are bound to break out at one point, and will have a hard time experiencing and expressing real love because love isn’t perfect- it has faults. Franzen believes this fear of experiencing real love, is what drives people behind their screens to obtain the impossible flawlessness, “…is what makes it so tempting to avoid love and stay safely in the world of liking”. (l. 198-200). In order to understand real love, rejection and failure, you need to find out who you are as a person, even if it is not what society thinks is ‘idealistic’.

The technology we surround ourselves with, is created to serve us and makes no demands. They fulfill our needs, and if they no longer do that, we simply buy a newer model. This makes it more tempting and addictive for us to always be updated on the latest new. Our behavior on social media is risk-free. We can ‘friend’ someone without having exchanged a single conversation with them, “To friend a person is merely to include the person in our private hall of flattering mirrors”. (l. 136-138).

Not only is our behavior on social media risk-free, it is also narcissistic. We try to fabricate a specific side of ourselves to the outside world, and the assistive technology makes it possible to shape a self-portrait exactly as we want it. Therefore, Jonathan Franzen calls these new technical inventions “enablers of narcissism” (l. 122). We have become so devoted to (TO) our Facebook profiles and our virtual image, that the result is simply a feeling of self-sufficiency. We lull ourselves into an anesthetized sleep, where we believe we don’t need anyone but ourselves.  

Throughout his essay, Franzen uses an informal tone, which goes hand in hand with the angle he chooses to go about the issue. He speaks of his personal experiences and uses it as a bridge to the younger generation. “A couple of weeks ago, I replaced my three-year-old BlackBerry Pearl with a much more powerful BlackBerry Bold” (l. 1-3).

From the very beginning of the essay, Franzen compares his relationship with his old smartphone to a loving relationship, where the spark has disappeared. In this regard, he uses multiple expressions, which young people are familiar with in relationships, such as: “trust issues”, “accountability issues”, “a one-sided relationship” (l. 17-27). Throughout this comparison, the smartphone gets personified, when it is said that it doesn’t get mad about the replacement, “The beloved object… doesn’t throw terrible scenes when it is replaced by an even sexier object…” (l. 49-5).