Emotional Intelligence

[pic 1][pic 2][pic 3][pic 4][pic 5]

[pic 6]

AREA OF SKILL DEVELOPMENT: Empathy

For the purpose of the assignment following three people were interviewed-

      EMPATHY to me:

      It is the ability to feel what the other person is feeling. It is to experience their emotions and the ability to put yourself in other person’s shoes.

RESPONSES and ANALYSIS  

     My first informant is Akshay, family member with whom I have been in a close personal relationship for the past 7 years. He is currently working with GAIL India as a management trainee.

     Situation 1: (as narrated by him)

     The extra year that I had to put in for my engineering was one of my worst phases in life. My confidence had completely shattered, as I had not failed before. I was full of negativity and people around me, including you were progressing ahead in their life. I somewhere felt that I was left behind. During that time, I would have appreciated if you would have been more empathetic towards me. You did motivate me time and again, but sometimes I would get irritated with the practical attitude of yours.

     Situation 2: (as narrated by him)

     During my final placement process at XLRI, I was going through a difficult time due to few shortlists and rejections from various companies. Every new day would be a more difficult one. During this time, my self-confidence had dropped down and I doubted my own capabilities. It was difficult for me to convey the same to my friends and family. During that time, you were supportive and actually understood the pain that I was going through, maybe because the situation was relevant to you too. Instead of providing solutions, I liked the fact that you listened to my issues and not looked at it practically, like what you used to do before.

     Analysis:

     According to him, I am empathetic towards people close to me and I always try to provide solutions. However, he did mention that sometimes unknowingly due to my practical outlook at things, I make a judgment about someone’s issue and tend to react in that way. But over years I have become more empathetic towards him and am improving on the active listening part. I have learnt to not use my rational and practicality all the time. Earlier, when it came to people whom I did not know personally, I would get awkward when someone shared their issues with me. I did not know how to react. But over the years I have learnt to listen to others and accept the fact that it is not necessary for me to give solutions every time.

   My second informant is my best friend Anuja. We have been friends for the past 15 years now. She is currently in U.S. doing her M.S.

  She did not mention specific situations but gave an overall constructive feedback. According to her I am empathetic towards people but up to a certain extent only. I do not like to get too personal with people I do not know that well. In addition, my casual attitude towards life and similar expectations from other people hampers my empathy levels. She feels that my empathy levels vary with the relevance and seriousness of the issue for me. Otherwise, generally I am quite preoccupied and want others to listen to my issue first. She did talk about my habit of interrupting others and judging their issues as not that important or grave.

After talking to her I realized that unknowingly I have been hurting people and I have let my opinions come in between while behaving empathetically towards other people. I need to work on this.

  My third informant is Ritika, my office colleague. We have worked together for 19 months in Cognizant Technology Solutions.

  Situation: (as narrated by her)

  Aditi and I were working on the same project, which was to be delivered in a week’s time. Two days to the submission, I had a very important personal work, which I couldn’t share with our team leader and hence had to call in sick. Aditi understood my issue and was ready to cover for me. She was empathetic towards my situation and did not ask me any probing questions. I am grateful to her, as if she wouldn’t have helped I would have been in a major problem.

...