The Breakable Vow

No country or society can claim to be free of domestic violence; it cuts across boundaries of culture, class, education, income, ethnicity and age. Domestic violence is a pattern of coercive behavior in which one person attempts to control another through threats or actual use of physical violence, sexual assault, and verbal or psychological abuse. No one should become implicated in domestic violence relationships. There is a repeating cycle of violence in the relationship, the abuse involved is horrific, and the relationship can result in death.

To begin with, domestic violence relationships can have a reoccurring cycle of violence. There are four stages within the cycle of violence which the abuser demonstrates repeatedly. The first stage is tension building where the abuser will act as though his or her partner is doing something wrong, pushing may occur or criticism. The next stage that follows is an abusive incident; during this stage the abuser may appear out of control. Depending on how far advanced the cycle has become, this phase may include violent behaviors such as pushing, shoving, chocking, slapping, and punching. Conflict of resolution is the third stage and during this stage the abuser may perhaps apologize, share feelings or force the victim to admit he or she is partially to blame. The fourth stage is the honeymoon stage which is falling in love again. Once the pattern starts the abuser knows he or she is in control and the cycle may possibly become worse and more frequent. Instead of it occurring maybe once a month it may start to occur weekly or daily. The first stage of tension might become be a very thin line of tolerance and second stage, an abusive incident may escalate in frequency, severity and become more violent than ever. Consequently, the relationship may perhaps have terrible physical, sexual, and emotional abuse involved.

In addition, the relationship might include horrific abuse. The emotional and sexual abuses that possibly will be involved are frightening. For example, during the relationship he or she may demonstrate emotional abuse towards their mate by breaking items that are important to them, leaving them at a party or some where dangerous, calling them insulting names, and even manipulating them with lies, or distortions of the truth. The abuser can demonstrate sexual abuse within the relationship by forcing his or her partner to have sex, also known as "rape", calling them names such as, whore or slut, and acting as if they would have sex with other people. Furthermore, the physical abuse within the relationship is also fear-provoking. Physical abuse can range from pushing, shoving, slapping, and kicking to punching, biting and hitting with a weapon or object. Some abusers display physical abuse by pinning their victim to a wall, floor, or car; keeping them in a car or home against their will. Can an abuser who wants to hurt or kill his or her partner actually be a fine choice to have a relationship with? Unfortunately, an abusive relationship may end up being the closing stage of one's

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