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Law 210 - Youth and Gangs

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   LAW 210 Term Paper  




          Mateen Wardak  


        February 19, 2016            

The emotion that is difficult for me to express is sadness. It is difficult for me to express sadness because I am mostly surrounded by individuals such as my friends or siblings who consider expressing sadness in front of other people as an embarrassment. I was raised in a family who encouraged me to conceal my vulnerable emotions and treated me differently as they would my sisters. For instance, my mother used sentiment words and talked more about sadness and the experiences of it with my sisters whereas she taught me to be tough and discussed only the causes and consequences of my vulnerable emotions. Having difficulty with expressing sadness has impacted my interpersonal relationships in many ways. Firstly, it has led me to the belief that other people will belittle or reject me if I am exposed as weak and vulnerable. Secondly, being taught to take pride in not expressing sadness has caused difficulty for me when it comes to expressing my emotions. I cannot tell my friends that I am sad because my teacher gave me a bad grade or if I am ever in trouble. Most importantly, I have developed an excessive need to please people because I am afraid that they will not like me or look down upon me with disappointment if I approach anyone with the phrase; “I am sad”. I hide my sadness in many ways. For example, when a member of my family or a friend asks me “How was your day?”, and I had a bad day, I simply lie to cover my sadness. Furthermore, I make excuses if I am showing a sad face and someone asks me the reason behind it. If my mom asks me why I look sad or stressed, I tell her its because I am not feeling right or I am sick. And if I were to ever express sadness, I would simply go to my room and think it and how to prevent it.    

There have been many situations where people have shared their grief and sadness with me. I found it very challenging to deal with because I didn’t have much experience of me sharing my vulnerable feelings with my friends. For example, one of my classmates in high school was having a very bad day as her aunt had passed away a week prior and when she engaged in a conversation with me about the tragic event, she suddenly started to cry. At that time, I did not know what to do and I just stood there in silence. I think that I would have been able to do more if I had experience of me sharing my sadness with my friends and learned to efficiently communicate towards a sad friend. At times when I have witnessed my friends being sad, I have only felt bad for them and reacted very emotionally as opposed to physically. For example, I have seen other people hug their friends or rub their backs when they express their soft emotions. However, I feel very insecure when it comes comforting people when they are going though a very sentiment phase as I have always been thought to be masculine in such a way. There are many ways I would respond differently. Firstly, if someone is crying or feeling very depressed in front of me, I would want to give them a hug and tell them that everything is going to be fine and that they should not lose hope. Secondly, I want to make the person feel that they are not alone if they are sad and that I am by their side instead of me not being able to do anything about it. Lastly, I would respond differently by trying my best to make them feel comfortable and tell them that I am here in case they want to do anything or want to go anywhere and that they are not alone without feeling insecure or feminine.



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