Jigga Beeddling

Specifically in the area of relationship, we have the potential to be happy with the people that we are with, whether it is a partner, child, parent, co-worker or friend. Our happiness does not depend on something they do or say to us, or our ability to change them. Our happiness lies in how we deal with the present moment, whether we are resentful, guilty, afraid, angry or simply grateful. It is the gratitude that can bring us right into the present moment, and open the door for happiness.

I have known most of these 14 teenagers since they began their education together in kindergarten. If they were to come to our home to ask me the question of what brings lasting happiness I would answer quite simply. For me being aware of the potential to be grateful in any given moment has brought me so much happiness. In the act of being grateful, I feel connected to an energy higher and more expanded than my own human mind. In the act of being grateful I feel loved.

Perhaps the worst time of my life was when I was 20 years old and lay dying in the Columbia University Hospital, where I was a nursing student. I had septicemia and a spiking 106 degree fever of unknown origin. I lay packed in ice, with all sorts of tubes being inserted into me. My clothes had all been removed and I lay fully exposed as medical students, residents, and top medical doctors came and went from the room. Before I slipped into unconsciousness, I was aware of conversations that went something like, "I hope her mother comes soon, I don't know how much longer she will live."

There I was in a strange and uncomfortable place, away from everyone I knew, stripped of all dignity, perhaps dying and feeling absolutely horrible. Then from somewhere within me I remembered that I could be grateful. I started thanking people for everything that they did to me, whether it hurt or not. In the act of thanking the nurses, attendants, and doctors I felt a power flow into me, and in a strange way felt that I was in control of my energy, even though I had no control over all the many things they were doing to me. Inside myself I began to be thankful for anything I could think of. The more I was grateful, the more I started to feel loved by an unseen presence. The hospital staff began to