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Cool Hunting

Essay by   •  February 3, 2018  •  Essay  •  1,197 Words (5 Pages)  •  797 Views

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Chapter 1

I can’t recall what it was like. Feeling normal, that is. Being in a small town with small town values always makes you feel stuck. Well, when you’re not normal that is, and I’m most certainly not normal.

Nothing changes around here, except for the leaves on the trees. Their soft green tint turns into a bright crimson and blazing burnt orange. The seasons come and go, however I do not. I’m stuck.

I’m sure it could be worse, I could be homeless with no money, the world could end, or even worse: Donald Trump could’ve won the 2016 election.

Although I am glad that none of those are true, it doesn’t change the fact that my life is shitty. Just because there are worse things going on in the world doesn’t mean that what’s going on in my life isn’t awful. It is. Trust me.

I’m sure you don’t even care. You’re reading this and you’re like “where’s the cool part where she has, like, a boyfriend or cool super powers?” Sorry to disappoint but neither of those apply to me. Also, why are you comparing having super powers to having a boyfriend? I’d rather be able to fly myself to McDonald’s for a Big Mac than have a boyfriend.

Sure, boys are great. Girls are too. Who cares? I’m not here to rush myself into a relationship just because it’s expected of me.

It’s also because boys don’t notice me.

Oh, except for that one time when this guy named Johnny Devins “accidentally” shoved me in the hallway while he was passing me. However, he still said “didn’t see you there.”

Didn’t see me? Bullshit. If anyone uses that as an excuse they need to get their eyes checked. I think they could be considered as legally blind. Who just walks into someone on purpose, though? That seems more idiotic than the response that follows.

It’s not important. What’s important is that I am 80 days away from graduating high school and finally getting out of my small town in Ohio. I’m thinking Boston. New York. Los Angeles. Anything that will give me a brand new start.

Ever since the end of freshman year I’ve always been on the outside. Before that, everyone knew my name because they wanted to know me, not because of what happened.

Now all I get are stares and giggles and everything other than anyone being nice to me. It wasn’t even my fault, yet I’m the one to blame. It wasn’t even my fault.

I’m used to being the outcast, and at this point I’ve accepted it. The worst part about nothing changing is that I will always be the outcast. It’s never going to be different, because everything here has been the same since day one.

This feeling of sadness washes over me like a tsunami; Will I ever fit in?

Just because I can leave this small town behind me doesn’t mean I can leave my past behind. I carry that with my on my shoulders like the backpack crammed with heavy textbooks I walk to class with every day. It doesn’t sit well and only makes me uncomfortable.Will it ever end?

Chapter Two

        I walked into class, eyes falling slowly as my mind, groggy as ever, tried to force them to stay open. I am constantly tired. Being depressed is a lot of work. On top of that, I am forced to go home from a six hour day at school, only to be greeted with even more work to do.

        I scanned the room for my usual seat and saw a boy with bright blue hair and headphones in his ears sitting in my seat.

        Now, there’s not many things in school that are important to me, but my seat is one of them. I spend weeks making sure that I arrive early enough to class and sit in the same seat every single day to ensure that everyone knows that it’s mine.

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