Anger

ANGER

Anger is a healthy emotion when it is expressed appropriately. When it is not,

it can have devastating effects. Anger is at the root of many personal and

social problems, e.g., child abuse, domestic violence, physical and verbal

abuse, and community violence. Problematic interpersonal relations may also

disrupt employment activities because of the interference of anger on

workplace performance. Left unchecked, anger can destroy relationships,

obstruct problem solving skills, and increase social withdrawal. Anger also

affects our physical health. For example, it can tax our immune system;

contribute to headaches, migraines, severe gastrointestinal symptoms,

hypertension, and coronary artery disease. Anger is a healthy and valid

emotion. But many of us are taught not to express or show our anger. This

often leaves us feeling frustrated and unable to express how we feel inside.

As a result, some of us store and suppress our anger, while others may

express it, but in negative and unhealthy ways. Individual counseling sessions

will assist you in learning how to express and communicate your anger in

positive and effective ways. Anger is 'an emotional state that varies in intensity

from mild irritation to intense fury and rage,' according to Charles

Spielberger, Ph.D., a psychologist who specializes in the study of anger. Like

other emotions, it is accompanied by physiological and biological changes;

when you get angry, your heart rate and blood pressure go up, as does the

level of your energy hormones, adrenalin and/nor adrenalin. Anger can be

caused by both external and internal events. You could be angry with a

specific person (Such as a coworker or supervisor) or event (a traffic jam, a

canceled flight), or worrying or brooding about your personal problems could

cause your anger. Memories of traumatic or enraging events can also trigger

angry feelings. The instinctive, natural way to express anger is to respond

aggressively. Anger is a natural, adaptive response to threats; it inspires

powerful, often aggressive, feelings and behaviors, which allow us to fight and

to defend ourselves when we are attacked. A certain amount of anger,

therefore, is necessary to our survival. On the other hand, we can't physically

lash out at every person or object that irritates or annoys us; laws, social

norms and common sense place limits on how far our anger can take us.

People use a variety of both conscious and unconscious processes to deal

with their angry feelings. The three main approaches are expressing,

suppressing, and calming. Expressing your angry feelings in an assertive --not

aggressive -- manner is the healthiest way to express anger. To do this, you

have to learn how to make clear what your needs are, and how to get them

met, without hurting others. Being assertive doesn't mean being pushy or

demanding; it means being respectful of yourself and others. Anger can be

suppressed, and then converted or redirected. This happens when you hold

in your anger, stop thinking about it and focus on something positive. The aim

is to inhibit or suppress your anger and convert it into more constructive

behavior. The danger in this type of response is that if it isn't allowed outward

expression, your anger can turn inward -- on yourself. Anger turned inward

may cause hypertension, high blood pressure or depression. Unexpressed

anger can create other problems. It can lead to pathological expressions of

anger, such as passive-aggressive behavior (getting back at people indirectly,

without telling them why, rather than confronting them head-on) or a

personality that seems perpetually cynical and hostile. People who are

constantly putting others down, criticizing everything and making cynical

comments haven't learned how to constructively express their anger. Not

surprisingly, they aren't likely to have many successful relationships. Finally,

you can calm yourself down inside. This means not just controlling your

outward behavior but also controlling your internal responses, taking steps to

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