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Autor: anton • November 11, 2010 • 2,402 Words (10 Pages) • 1,126 Views
Are Women Really More Emotional Than Men? Generally speaking women are seen as the more emotional ones, but all human beings are full of emotions...including men. Both men and women have the same types of emotions but they are expressed in different ways.
When I first read the article I chuckled because I have heard the same things many times before as I am sure most women have. My reaction was not one of anger or frustration because to some extent I agree that women can be more emotional then men. I thought back to my very first boyfriend when I was in high school and when we broke up how distraught I was. I cried and I didn't eat very well. It was like something inside me shut down. I constantly questioned myself, wondering what I had done wrong to make him leave me. I cried and pleaded with him, but was unsuccessful in my attempts because he said I was "too emotional and whiny". I was only 15 at the time and I knew nothing about what love really was or what the emotions were that I was really feeling inside. It seems that for a few of the serious relationships after that it was like I had conditioned myself not to be too emotional around men regardless. If something was bothering me, I didn't cry or try to express how I was feeling because I didn't want to hear the negative feedback that I knew I would receive.
I read an article (although I don't recall the name) that on average, men feel the emotion six times stronger than women do, but if you compare it to our environmental surroundings, you wouldn't necessarily know it. I don't think that men are insensitive; it's just that they are raised to be tougher. When you see a young boy crying and he goes to his father, usually the dad says 'Suck it up! Take it like a man!' If a girl were to do that they'd be coddled, given a kiss where it hurts, and then tickled or something. The environment and the psychological shaping of the child when he/she is young play into how they express their emotions as an adult.
Women tend to be more expressive and less controlling of their emotions whereas men tend to bottle up their emotions, which in my opinion tends to turn into other intense forms of emotions (i.e. anger, depression, etc.). I feel that emotions are acted upon according to the acceptable dictates of the society and culture we live in. A man seeing another man express his emotions is often viewed as being "gay".
Men have always been expected to be the 'cowboy' the 'rock'. They are the ones that bring home the bacon, keep away intruders, and do the 'dirty' work whereas women have always been delicate, quilting bees, having children, trying to create world peace and baking cookies.
We are seen as the delicate sex (in my opinion) due to our men having the unbearable need to provide, care and protect for his family. If he cannot do that, then he is somehow less of a man and ashamed. It always seems to come down to pride when it comes to dealing with men.
I personally do not feel that gender or culture play a huge role into how I communicate with my boyfriend, family members or friends. I believe that open, honest communication is the key to success in any relationship. As I have gotten older (and hopefully wiser) I make it a point to express my feelings when something is troubling me. When I argue with someone we both say what is on our minds and leave it at that. I don't always agree with their opinion and vice versa, but it doesn't mean that because I am woman that I will automatically break down and cry or act erratically. It's the opinion of most of our society that men are supposed to be strong, show no weakness, shed no tears and women are the sensitive, unstable emotional ones that cry at the blink of an eye. I strongly disagree with how people choose to define the word emotional. When you look up the definition of the word emotional you will find adjectives to describe the word like expressive, open, and demonstrative. I know many men who act this way, but if you tried to call them emotional they would personally take it as an insult. My boyfriend is a man's man. He loves to watch sports, play football, wrestle and do all the other things that men like to do. He is very caring, affectionate and sometimes he is emotional; but that is a side to him that he will only allow me and a select few to see (and they don't include his male friends). I remember when his grandfather died a few years ago he had to give the eulogy at the funeral. He was very hesitant about wanting to do it, because he didn't know what to say or how to express himself (or at least he thought). I told him to tell me some of the fun things he did with his grandfather when he was younger. He recalled many stories, but the one that touched him the most was when his grandfather purchased him a bicycle when he graduated from high school. It was the bike he had always wanted and 12 years later he still has the bike and rides it to this day. When he talked about getting that bike from his grandfather he started to cry. I didn't look at him and say that he was weak or any less of a man because he cried. He hurt and he needed to release that pain. Sometimes men need to unleash that pain because I think they become so numb trying to live the way a man is supposed to, the way that is socially acceptable. I always told my boyfriend that no matter what he was feeling he should never be ashamed to express the way he felt for fear of being made fun of. People are always going to have opinions regardless of what happens, so why become so intent on worrying about what others think before you then consider your own feelings. My boyfriend and I express our relationship in such a way that we do what is best for us, not how society views us based on the men versus women factor when it comes to emotions.
It's a given that culture powerfully influences thoughts, emotions and behaviors. "Culture is an important part of our blueprint for operation within our physical and social worlds. We are an insecure species and culture offers us a reduction of anxiety through its standard rules of thought, emotion and behavior. Culture offers predictability in an often unpredictable world. We see things through a cultural lens that tints, magnifies, shrinks and otherwise shapes our perceptions. Our culture is a mindset that we developed during childhood socialization. The structural integrity, coherency and stability of our personalities are rooted in our culture. It is for these and other reasons that intercultural interactions can cause anxiety and arouses emotions." I can remember an incident very vividly that involved my friend from grade school named Danny Kiomoto; Danny and I are still very good friends to this