Getting Out

Getting Out

By

Nykia B. Vinnett

For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, til death do us part. Those are words that every little girl dreams of saying, wearing that long beautiful white dress. Once that day is over then the nightmare begins. He starts with the verbal abuse then the physical abuse is not far behind. Once you have had enough of the pain and humiliation you will find the strength to get out.

Abuse is an epidemic that’s been plaguing society since the beginning of time. Domestic violence, spousal abuse is a very important issue. This issue has a negative affect on society. This is an issue close to my heart. Abuse in a relationship is something very difficult to deal with and even harder to escape. Women should know that they don’t have to stay in an abusive relationship, they do have options.

Many women in our country experience violence within their own homes. It’s estimated that as many as 25% of all emergency room visits are by women who have injuries suffered at the hands of their intimate male partners (Hattery, 2003, pg.3). Domestic violence counts for more injuries to women than car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined (Hattery, 2003, pg.3). Domestic v violence is lethal, as many as 40% of all women killed each year are killed by their husbands or male partners; with beatings being the most common method of murder. Many women that are abused have low self-esteem. They feel that they are supposed to be married. Society places marriage on a pedestal. They feel that they are less than, if they are not married. So we as women want to live up to society’s expectations, and enduring physical violence is often a trade-off to keeping up with society.

The movie, I chose to write about is “The Color Purple”. I love this movie. No matter how many times it comes on I will watch it. This movie deals with all sorts of issues adultery, racism, sexism, and my main focus, abuse. This movie is mainly a coming of age story of a young woman about 13 or 14 years of age, who was sold to a man. She was only a child herself and had to take on the responsibility of raising this man’s children. There was both physical and mental abuse. He wanted to control her in everyway. She could only do what she was told. He even took away the one person who truly loved her. For many years Celi took abuse from Mister (Albert). Of course, he too was old enough to be her daddy. He used her in many ways, cooking, cleaning, and raising his kids from a previous marriage. I think sexual abuse was a part of it also. Celi didn’t know what it was like to have a good sexual relationship. He would have his way with her and that was it. She was not allowed to touch the mailbox. Years had passed and he went as far as bringing another woman in the home. Once that woman left the abuse started again.

This movie portrays how women are treated and how men feel women should be treated. It depicts how men see women as possessions, property. It also shows that once a woman has had enough, she will get out. Battered and abused women have been overlooked and ignored by society. “Beating one’s wife is an old and honored tradition” (Schuyler, 1976, pg.488). Women have always hidden the abuse and been afraid to report it. There area a lot of undocumented cases of abuse. Data from two Michigan counties show that spousal abuse comprised 43% and 40% respectively- or a total of 740 cases of the entire number of cases reported in 1974 (Schuyler, 1976, pg 488). It is believed that women are afraid to report their husband’s abuse, fearing retaliation. The Uniform Crime Reports put out by the FBI indicate that of 19,510 murders, 12.3% occurred during a lover’s quarrel. At the top of the list of cultural variables accounting for the epidemic of wife abuse is the tradition of male subjugation of females. Even such legal statutes as the Napoleonic Code sanctioned wife abuse by stating that “women, like walnut trees, should be beaten everyday”. The assumption that a man’s wife is his property to do as she’s told has been perceived through society that forbids women to have an adult status. (Schuyler, 1976, pg 489)

The abuse doesn’t stop with the black eyes, the swollen lip, or the bruised arm. There can also be sexual abuse. You may think that a husband is entitled to sex, but as women you can say no and they should respect that. Just because he’s your husband he shouldn’t feel that it’s his for the taking. That’s how Ms. Celi felt in the movie. She was talking to Shug. Shug asked her if it was okay that Mister (Albert) slept with her and she said that she was glad that she was there, because he beat her when she’s not there. That in regards to sex “he just climb on me and do his business” (The Color Purple). She said it felt like he was going to the bathroom on her. Saying

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