Death And Dying

Hiding the reality of death from a child is almost impossible. What a child imagines is often worse than the reality. We may nor tell our children the truth because we want so badly to protect them, However, set our children up for more trouble in the future by "sparing" them the truth.

Children who have not been told the truth about a parent's death tend to have a harder time dealing with reality when it hits. A child doesn't need to know every detail of the death or situation. However, assuring them that you are a trustworthy parent and will continue to be there for them no matter what will help them to feel safe even when there is difficult news. The truth is always easier to remember because it is the truth. Children need to know how to manage there fears and how to continue to function in life, with their peers, and with as much security and normality as you can provide. Always talk to your children about death to try to find out what they already know or remember from prior conversation about death. Correct any misconceptions and myths. Make sure that they understand the basic terms. Explain to them that death is permanent, never assume they understand and never tell them the parent or family member is sleeping, or going away. This makes sense because children think in concrete terms. If we look healthy, we must be healthy. Children need preparation to know exactly what death is and how it will affect their lives. They need to know that this is going to change the family routine they expect, and when to hope for a return to a normal life again.

List and evaluate at least four (4) mechanisms that children use in coping with terminal illness or death.

Young children do occasionally express spontaneous insight into the finality of death, as when encountered a dead animal. The three stages of development of death related cognitions in children. Stage one presented until age five, lacks appreciation of death as final and complete cessation. Separation is the theme most clearly comprehended by the youngest children. Stage two children think of death as final but not inevitable. A strong tendency to personify is noted in this stage. Stage three beginning at age nine or ten is marked by comprehension of death as

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