First Time Is Worst Time - a Story

First time = Worst time

The first time often equals the worst time, as it in most cases includes two very unexperienced and nervous people. In today’s society you can also add drunk in to that equation. Most of our first times is best described as Barbie and Kenn in total confusion when the pants actually drops. But it’s a part of life which all of us must experience.
It’s a part of growing up and it’s one of the steps in becoming a man/woman. A part of the ritual so to say. But does society hype it up too much?

This is one of the central themes in the London-based writer Hillary Mantells short story Brace yourself. In the short story we meet our main character Jen. The whole family is driving to their grandma’s house, and Jen is the designated driver. The fact that Jen is not the most experienced driver is actually not the problem of this car ride. Jennifer was at a party the day before where she got drunk on tequila and lost her virginity. Her body as well as her mind is therefore, because of the circumstances, a little off. As she describes it. “My family’s life in my shaky, hung-over, no-longer-a-virgin hand.” She keeps thinking about the night she just experienced, and that causes her to lose her focus.  

Jen is a young woman at the edge of being an adult. We can see that she that in the way she states her drivers-license.

“There’s no way I should be allowed on this three-lane motorway surrounded by lorries and motorbikes and people carriers even though my plastic card is pink now and I only got three minors on my test.” 

Most people take their full driver’s license, and lose their virginity in their late teenage years. So the way she describe her license indicates her youth. She also haven’t driven a lot. “… I’ve been bugging my dad for this motorway experience” an experienced driver wouldn’t have made a big deal out of driving on a motorway. She is not very sure of herself. Despite of her own statements. “I’m invincible, a sexually active, invincible woman behind the wheel.” She states this because of the confidence boost she have gotten from her “nightly activities.” But she struggles with small things in real life. We see that after her mother is nagging on her. “I’m fine, I … How do I change lanes?” she struggles with chancing her lane which shouldn’t be a problem for an experienced adult.

The short story therefor have a  unreliable narrator. Which is often the result of having a first person narrator.
At Jens side is her mother. She is best described as tense. She’s a smoker and it’s not allowed to smoke in Jen’s dads car. Every sentence coming out of her mouth is therefore nagging. “Eyes on the road!”, “careful now”, “Now, Jen!” “ and of course “JEN!”. She takes out her own problems on Jen. She is almost a stereotypical mother in her behaviour. “Watch where you’re going! Slow lane, remember? Take. It. Easy!” two commands and one condescending question in one sentence. An accomplishment even for my mother.
The last female in the car is Shelly. Acting her part as annoying kid to perfection. By stamping in on the floor and throwing spit balls she becomes the a contrast to her sister.

All three females in the car becomes symbols of each different states in life. Shelly is the symbol of childhood and therefore Jens past. Jen is on her way becoming an adult and is therefore annoyed by her little sisters childlike behaviour. It’s reminds her of her past. Jen is the symbol of youth. She is in the borderland between child and adulthood. Pretty numb in her actions and having trouble finding and defining herself. Lastly the mother which is the symbol of adulthood and maturity. She feels the need to be in control and is stressed. Two things which lays more to adulthood than youthfulness.  

The text follows an order in its composition. Car, Sex, Car, Sex, Car, Sex and so on. The short- story switches between what happens in the car and flashbacks to the night before all-through the text.  Sometimes very smooth.

 “My family’s life in my shaky, hung-over, no-longer-a-virgin hands. It’s not that it blew my mind. I didn’t. I don’t even think I came. He said he loved me and I said ”Oh” and peeled my stomach away from his”

We go from a driving situation to a after sex situation. Hillary Mantell uses the “no longer virgin hands” as a link between the situations. Mantell also uses more non-direct words to connect the different parts.

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